


Take Refuge, Take Comfort

by kiath



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-03
Updated: 2010-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:25:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiath/pseuds/kiath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A random add-on to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/339093">If You Lived Here (You'd Be Home By Now)</a>, set several months after that story ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Refuge, Take Comfort

**Dominic**

Dom felt for a pulse. It was a formality, really; Orlando was obviously gone. 

Elijah watched from the corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chin, toes curling against the carpet. "I didn't know what to do. No-one was here."

"You should have called me. Come on." Walking around the bed, Dom held out his hand to Elijah. "Come on, Lij, you shouldn't be in here."

"I can't leave him."

"He's gone."

"No-one was here," Elijah repeated, staring at Orlando's body with owlish, unblinking eyes. "He was all alone."

Taking a deep breath, Dom sat down on the carpet beside Elijah. "He wouldn't have known. You know how vague he got towards the end."

Shaking his head a little, Elijah finally turned to look at Dom. "He knew."

 

**Elijah**

"I feel like I'm letting him down."

Dom straightened his tie in the mirror and glanced over his shoulder. "Saying it over and over isn't going to make you feel any better. He would have understood."

"It's not about understanding, Dom," Elijah replied, wandering to the window. "I'm failing him. I should be there."

"You were always there when it mattered. Don't beat yourself up." 

"They're here," Elijah murmured. His eyes began to burn and his throat tightened at the sight of a hearse driving slowly up the road. A sombre man dressed head to toe in black removed his top hat and made his way to the front door. Leaving the mirror, Dom crossed the room and stood behind Elijah, rubbing absently at his back. 

"Don't look."

Elijah ignored him and stared at the car carrying Orlando's body. The undertaker's knock echoed throughout the house, making it sound as empty as it now felt. 

"Do you want me to stay?"

Elijah shook his head and turned to look at Dom with as convincing a smile as he could muster. "No. One of us needs to be there. Anyway, I have Sean."

Dom nodded. After pressing a kiss to Elijah's forehead, he offered a genuine-looking smile in return and bussed at Elijah's cheek with his knuckles. "Don't do this to yourself, please. He knows you don't have a choice."

*

With his face pressed against Dom's neck, Elijah felt alive. The smell of the blood moving through his veins was an accustomed pleasure now, rather than the over-stimulating drug it once was; regardless, it still made Elijah's heart trip and his mouth water. _This is love_ , he told himself, running his tongue along the path of Dom's jugular later that night. _This isn't addiction, it's love._

He only ever bit with Dom's express permission, and even then on the rarest of occasions. That night, Elijah gave in to the oh-so-tempting pleas tumbling from Dom's mouth as they fucked, sinking his teeth into the tender skin at the back of Dom's knee. Tears sprung in Dom's eyes even as he begged, "Don't stop, don't stop," riding through the pain with gritted teeth. Elijah did as he was told, tonguing hungrily at the wound, greed and lust and self-loathing all pooling in his belly.

"That was stupid," he whispered later as they dozed side-by-side.

"It's been a long day," replied Dom. "A long, shit day. We needed it. _You_ needed it."

"What if--"

"No, don't." Dom opened his eyes and shook his head at Elijah. "We promised, remember?" 

*

"Where's the graveyard?" Elijah asked. 

Billy looked over his shoulder. "Where Orlando is?"

"Yeah."

"Not far," Billy replied, going back to work with his vegetable knife, skillfully slicing into a giant, juicy-looking red pepper and removing the seed-covered stem inside. "A couple of buses, probably. Why?"

Elijah pushed the salt shaker around the kitchen table. "I want to go see him. You know, his grave, or whatever."

"There's nothing there yet. We're still waiting for the headstone."

"Nothing at all?"

"Well, a small plaque, I think. Just so we know where he is for now."

Elijah nodded. "Then I want to go there."

Billy put down his knife and turned around. "It's not far, but it's still a long way for you. Do you think you're ready?"

"Sure," Elijah replied, forcing a smile. "I feel so ready, you have no idea."

"What's changed in a fortnight?" Billy went back to chopping, waiting. 

Elijah stared at Billy's back and debated how best to answer him. When no answer came to mind, he made his way to the living room and curled up beside Dom on the couch until supper was ready. 

*

"Hey Vig." 

Viggo looked up and smiled as Elijah wandered into his open bedroom. "Good morning."

"Playing chess?" Elijah asked needlessly, gesturing at the board set up on a small fold-away table by the window and the empty seat opposite Viggo's own.

"Indeed I am. And right now, it would seem I'm losing to a ghost," Viggo replied, smiling across the board and watching as his King was placed in check. "And you?"

Elijah shrugged. "Oh, nothing. Dom and Billy are both at work and there's nothing on TV."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Can I hang out with you guys?"

Viggo laughed and sank back into his chair, saying, "Checkmate, indeed. Well played," as if he hadn't heard Elijah's question. Elijah chose to take that as a yes and perched on the edge of Viggo's bed. 

"Is he good?"

"Hmmm?"

"Sean," Elijah clarified, watching with fascination as the pieces moved back to the their starting points with no help from Viggo. 

"He certainly is," Viggo said, smiling at his invisible partner. "But then, he's had far longer to practice than I have."

Elijah watched as the next game started, realising after a while that neither Sean nor Viggo were really aware of his presence. As he wandered back out to the hallway, Elijah automatically made his way to Orlando's room, standing in the doorway and staring at the empty bed. When he sat on it, he made sure not to sit where Orlando used to lay; when he stood up again, he made sure to smooth any wrinkles from the sheets. 

"I miss you," Elijah said, taking a seat in the tatty armchair beside the bed, curling up where he always had once Orlando had become too sick to get up. 

He stayed there until the afternoon began to draw in, nodding off to sleep when the room darkened. 

*

In the days following Orlando's death, Elijah watched and waited for empty bottles to start piling up in the trash. They never came. Not quite believing Billy was able to stay on the wagon in the face of such bereavement, he snooped around Billy's room on more than one occasion in search of evidence. None was to be found. Neither did he find discarded cans behind the couch, nor half-drunk liquor hidden behind more innocent food stuffs in the kitchen.

"He's not drinking, you know," he eventually shared with Dom. "Billy, I mean."

"You sound surprised."

"I am. Aren't you? Orlando was, like, his best friend."

Dom shrugged and reached for the remote. "Mind if I change the channel?"

"No, but only if you stop changing the subject, too," Elijah scolded gently. 

"I'm not. _Family Guy_? We've seen this one a hundred times, but there's not much else on."

Elijah took the remote back. "I don't care. Please, Dom, pay attention."

Dom sighed and turned to look at him. "I _am_. What do you want me to say? That I expect Billy to hit the bottle? Of course I do. But saying so isn't going to help him. If he's resisting temptation, good for him. He doesn't need a song and dance made every time he chooses a cuppa over a pint."

"I didn't mean we should make a song and dance," Elijah replied, feeling the beginnings of a massive sulk. "I just wanted to talk about it."

Fixing him with a shrewd look, Dom shook his head. "You don't. You want to talk about us and the other night, don't you?"

"No!"

"I know you, Elijah. You can't work out how Billy's dealing with Orlando without drinking because drinking is all you're thinking about right now."

"Oh, fuck off," Elijah shot back, getting up from the sofa and taking his now fully-formed bad mood to the doorway. "You don't know what you're talking about." 

Later that night, Dom whispered apologies into Elijah's ear, pleading for forgiveness against his neck, chest and tummy. Elijah hummed his own apology as Dom's mouth moved down to his cock, arching up into Dom's penitence with grateful appreciation. 

 

**Dominic**

"Kettle boiled?"

Dom nodded at Billy, reaching automatically for another mug. "Cuppa?"

"Coffee, please. Black. I've got a late shift tonight."

"Another?"

"There's always another, Dominic. More's the pity."

Handing Billy his drink and snagging the communal biscuit tin for himself, Dom took a seat at the kitchen table, smiling vaguely at Billy's nod of thanks. "You look tired."

Billy grunted out a humourless laugh. "I'm fucking shattered."

"Elijah's not sleeping," Dom replied, stirring absently at his tea. "Well, not at night, anyway. And he won't talk to me. About Orlando, I mean. Has he said anything to you?"

Billy shook his head. "I assumed he was talking to you."

The lack of communication came as no surprise to Dom. He knew full well that even after he had moved back in for good to try and make a go of things, Elijah really only opened up to Orlando. At first the curiosity had been too much, and Dom had guiltily pressed his ear to Orlando's bedroom door, straining to hear what Elijah would share with his make-do therapist and not the man sharing his bed; at least, he had until he was caught by Sean and received a swift kick for his nosiness. When he eventually confronted Elijah and asked straight out what he spent so long talking about, Elijah had just shrugged and replied, "You know. Stuff," with an infuriating little smile. Dom wanted to push things, to find out why he wasn't trusted enough to know exactly what was going on in Elijah's head, but whenever he refused to take 'stuff' as a good enough answer, Elijah either shut down completely or distracted him with pointless trivia. Or worse, sex. 

Sometimes, Dom really hated himself for being such an easily-distracted, cock-led wanker. 

With the realisation of his own failings sinking in, he pushed his tea aside and stared at Billy with a baleful expression. "What do I do?"

"He was like this when he first moved in," Billy said. "Wouldn't have said boo to a goose. He came around eventually." Fixing Dom with a sideways glance, he smiled, just a little. "Helped when you got here, though."

"You mean he was worse than he is now?"

Billy nodded. "Oh, aye, a million times worse. You've actually brought him out of his shell, believe it or not."

Dom let his mouth hang open in mock horror. "Do my ears deceive me, or did you of all people just pay _me_ a compliment?"

"Don't get used to it, eh? It won't happen again."

With Billy's words soothing his conscience, Dom chuckled to himself and reached into the biscuit tin. "This calls for a celebratory custard cream. In fact, fuck it: I'm having two." Billy smiled at that, a genuine honest-to-God smile, and Dom couldn't help but smile back. "You're alright, you," he said, raising his mug to Billy in a mock toast. "When you're not being such a grumpy get, anyway."

"Like I said, don't get used to it. Now give me a bloody biscuit and piss off."

*

"Why don't we go out tonight?"

Elijah stared at Dom with a mixture of horror and amusement. "Oh, yeah, sure. Great idea."

"I mean it." Dom flopped down on the sofa, taking the remote out of Elijah's hand and muting the TV. "Just you and me. I got paid today and I really fancy a curry."

Elijah stared doggedly at the silent television. "Order take-out, then."

"I don't _want_ to get take-out, Lij; I want to take _you_ out. Hey," Dom waved his hand in front of Elijah's face, "how about it? You were fine going to the corner shop with Billy the other day, and the curry house isn't too much further down the road. My treat."

"I don't feel like going out, Dom."

"Well, I _do_."

"Then fucking go out," Elijah snapped, grabbing the remote back and knocking the volume up. 

Dom sighed and sagged back against the sofa. "I want to go out with _you_."

When his clarification was met with silence, Dom cuddled closer and tried another tack. "Hey, don't be angry. I just want to spend some time alone with you so we can chat about things."

"What things?" replied Elijah, his voice taking on a suspicious edge. 

"Just things. You never talk to me anymore." Elijah started flipping through channels, skipping so fast Dom began to lose patience. "Stop that. Come on, please, you need to stop shutting me out."

Finally hitting the off button on the remote, Elijah twisted round and stared at Dom. "I'm _not_."

"Bullshit!" Dom could feel the last shreds of his positive attitude fall away. "You've been so close-mouthed since Orlando died that I don't have a clue what's going on in your head."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry my grief is so fucking inconvenient to you," yelled Elijah, climbing to his feet and throwing open the living room door with so much force it slammed back into the wall. 

There was an audible hiss behind Dom, and he instinctively turned to face the empty space. "Sean, stop eavesdropping and fuck off." He got a little nudge to the small of his back in response, then another, and another. "Yeah, I know," he muttered, listening to Elijah running up the stairs and slamming another door behind him. "I'm going."

Billy hovered in the hallway, concern written across his face. "So that went well, then?"

"Like a dream, Bill," Dom sighed, rubbing his face with both hands. "You know, I always thought I was shit at relationships because I liked to fuck about too much. But now I'm not fucking about, and I'm _still_ shit. I think I might just be shit at all of it."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

Dom shook his head. "Thanks, but I think I need to sort out this mess on my own."

Their bedroom door was wide open, the light off. Dom paused in the doorway before glancing down the hall and noticing a thin strip of light beneath the door to Orlando's old room. His careful knock was met with silence, and when he let himself in there were no protests from Elijah, sat in the same corner Dom had found him in the day Orlando died. He looked utterly defeated. The sight made Dom's guts ache with regret. 

"I'm sorry," Elijah whispered, staring up at Dom. "I just don't know what you want from me."

"All I want is for you to stop shutting me out." Dom crouched in front of Elijah. "Just talk to me occasionally."

"We talk all the time."

"Not about real stuff. I know you miss Orlando, but you still have me."

Elijah sniffed, shrugged. "It's not the same."

"How so?"

"You talk back, all the goddamn time."

"Are you serious?" Dom raised his eyebrows. "That's your problem with me?"

"Yeah." Shrugging again, Elijah glanced guiltily at Orlando's bed. "Sometimes it's nice just to talk, like, with no-one questioning you or whatever. He was good at that, even before he got sick."

"I can talk less bullshit if you'd like. Less crap about squirrels on rollercoasters and more silence, that kind of thing."

Elijah shook his head. "I like you the way you are. Seriously. You just need to give me some time to adjust."

"I can do that," Dom replied, giving Elijah's knee a little squeeze.

"Can I ask something else?"

"Anything you like, cutie."

"Are there really squirrels on rollercoasters?"

Dom grinned. "Just the one. Come to bed and I'll tell you all about it." Climbing to his feet, he held out his hand to Elijah. "By the way, I like you, too. A bit too much, truth be told."

Elijah allowed himself to be pulled upwards, pressing a kiss to Dom's mouth once they were level. He smiled. 

"I know."

 

**Elijah**

Dom worked late too many nights for Elijah's liking. Not that he'd ever mention it; he was happy that Dom had actually committed to working more-or-less full time, even if it was just in a local bar, and the delight with which he greeted payday was reward enough for Elijah. The creeping loneliness was starting to bite though, especially with Orlando gone. Billy had begun taking on longer hours at his own job for that very reason, quietly admitting to Elijah that he was too tempted to drink if he was home too often, and Viggo had never been much company. As nice as he was, he was a strange character, preferring to keep to himself or hang out with Sean. And since Sean had found someone he could communicate with, he'd given up being quite so attentive to Elijah's need for companionship. 

The evenings alone allowed for dangerous introspection, wonderings on whether Dom worked late to get away, to claim back a little space in their claustrophobic relationship. Maybe even find someone new. Elijah wanted to trust him, but however secure he felt when they were together, he felt twice as unsure when alone. 

Each time Dom begged Elijah to bite him and Elijah gave in, a tiny, terrified part of him hoped for infection, something to bind them together for good. And if it happened and Dom strayed as Elijah always feared he might, well, then, fine. Spending the rest of his life locked up somewhere was far better than simply being left behind the old-fashioned way.

"Hey, cutie," Dom whispered as he climbed into bed in the early hours of the morning, settling in face-to-face with Elijah. He smelt of cigarettes and beer, his breath heavy and stale. "Sorry I'm so late. Had a few pints with the guys after we closed up."

"It's okay," Elijah lied. He wanted to ask who and how many; he bit his tongue.

Cuddling closer, Dom hummed contentedly and hooked his legs around Elijah's to allow him to press the icy soles of his feet to Elijah's calves. "You're so warm; you're like a little furnace. I'm going to steal some." 

They lay in silence for a few minutes, Elijah listening to Dom's breathing evening out, calming himself little by little with each inhale, exhale. 

"There were these hedgehogs in the paper," Dom mumbled, apropos of nothing. Elijah could hear the smile in his voice. "They were so fat, they had to be put on a diet."

Elijah couldn't help but smile in return. "How did they know they were too fat?"

"They couldn't roll into a ball anymore."

Nudging with his nose until he found Dom's lips in the darkness, Elijah pressed a kiss to his mouth. "Can we get one?"

"I'll find you one in the morning, 'k? Sleepy now." 

Elijah kissed him again. "Sleep, then."

Dom woke him with tea and toast. They ignored the crumbs scattered between them afterwards and fucked quietly, purposefully discreet and respectful of their housemates still sleeping. 

"Do you want--?" Elijah asked, the blunt edges of his fangs pressing against the back of Dom's neck, hating himself even as he asked.

"No," Dom interrupted, voice catching in his throat. "I just want this."


End file.
